(Part 6 of the series “Navigating Men's Midlife”)
Sometimes, we can get caught in an echo chamber, where we are always “right” and comfortable. We surround ourselves with people and opinions that reconfirm us, seducing us to believe that everything is just fine.
But it is problematic, both as a mid-lifer who has to find new ways, and also as a senior leader with a great responsibility for others.
But why is an echo chamber a “thing” at all?
Why do some leaders end up in an echo chamber?
Why is it particularly relevant for leaders in their midlife years?
In this 6th part of the series Navigating Men’s Midlife, we dive into what make us build the echo chamber, instead of engaging with the world around us with curiosity and openness. We look into 20 “inner enemies”, that are specific mindsets or beliefs that hinder us from listening, reflecting, learning and changing. They play out in business, as-well as in our private lives. When we succumb to these inner enemies in our midlife, we get stuck in how we used to be, want to be right and do not evolve.
The new CEO in a pickle.
The transformation of the organization stalls, and results are behind the (probably too high) annual target. His ExCom team does not rally around him as he had expected, and he feels that several of the its members “do not get him”. As a result, there is frequent dissent in the ExCom meetings, which frustrates him and make him loose his cool.
He only trusts his inner circle of 2, because they always understand and agree with him. They execute the way he wants them to, and they enable him to be the strong CEO he expects himself to be. The rest of the ExCom is sidelined. But in the last months the he had to walk-back several big decisions, and he starts to realize that important information is not reaching him.
It makes him feel lonely, insecure, nervous and suspicious.
There is a lot to unpack in this situation, such as the apparent lack of alignment in the C-team, the ineffective team dynamics or the CEOs lack of self-control. But instead, let’s look into a scenario that is a reality for some CEOs: They build and live in an executive echo chamber.
“Are you caught in your own echo chamber?
Me? Nooo….”
The desctructive need to be right.
When leaders reach the most senior executive positions for the first time, it is mostly a well-deserved consequence of business brilliance and great results, enabled by self-confidence and utilisation of signature strengths. These new senior leaders have been more right than wrong in their career up-to now, and it can be hard to not be a bit too full of oneself to a certain degree.
I have witnessed many such situations, where the “need to be right” has seduced the newly appointed leader into creating an unhealthy echo chamber. They believe that their past strengths and relationships will continue to make them successful, and they bring along an entourage of “comrades” who share their opinions. They create an inner circle with a high degree of allegiance.
While this closely knit team could in fact be a great asset and make significant things happen at speed, it can also become an impenetrable fortress that isolates itself from the organization. Behind these closed walls, the ruler rules, and only convenient information comes in or out. Leaders outside the fortress struggle to be heard, and are likely to turn silent or leave at some point.
Isolated in the echo chamber.
No senior leader deliberately creates an echo chamber. It is rather a subconscious process that starts with good intentions for high performance and great results. But at some point, the real or perceived pressure for quick results, combined with the senior leader’s need to be right, can create a tunnel-view where only affirmation, agreement and obedience is acceptable. There is a belief that there is no time and no need for alternative perspectives.
There can be several reasons for the senior leader’s “need” for an echo chamber. It can come from an outsized belief in one-self (hubris), the belief that one always knows better (arrogance), experiencing self-doubts (imposter syndrome), trying to avoid making mistakes (self-preservation) or a lack of respectful connection with people outside of the inner circle.
Whatever the reason, the echo chamber is a highly negative phenomenon for the CEO, the ExCom and the entire organization. The executive team will be uncoordinated and underperform, and the lack of alignment and psychological safety will cascade through the organization. People get nervous, political games flourish and nothing moves. Healthy discussions, risk taking and innovation is not likely to happen here.
The top boss’ echo chamber is part of a vicious circle, that is hopefully diagnosed and resolved before the ExCom rebels, or the board intervenes.
20 Enemies of listening, learning and changing.
At the core of such echo chambers, we often see top leaders who are unwilling or unable to effectively listen, reflect, learn and change. We call this phenomenon “Enemies of listening, learning and change”.
When we let ourselves be limited by these limiting inner enemies, we do not listen, do not want to reflect, will not learn and therefore, we will not be able to change our mind or our behaviours. It is a way of self-protection, avoid being wrong, and in fact the enemies come with the good intention to protect us and our ego from harm. Unfortunately, they often have an adverse effect.
These enemies come in many forms, but in general they can be categorized into 3 categories. The below list of 20 enemies is inspired by Alan Sieler’s great ontological work:
As mentioned in the introduction, these “inner enemies” can play out both in our leadership, private life and how we go about the changes we experience during midlife. I therefore sometimes request clients to use the enemies list to review themselves, and reflect on which of the “enemies” show up in their life. It is a good way to become more aware of recurring patterns, and I have experienced several “penny drop moments” that enabled significant changes.
The Enemies-Review can also be applied as a powerful team intervention, where the collective reflection and naming of counter-productive mindsets, can create a new awareness within the team. It can be a lighthearted moment, where you can laugh together about the “silly mind-traps” you step into again and again…
By becoming aware of inner enemies of listening and learning, we can avoid trapping yourself in your echo chamber, and then it becomes possible to focus your energy on what really matters as a leader: How to be an impactful Co-Creator, People-Empowerer and Systemic Change Catalyst.
If you want to read more about the potential for a different leadership during midlife, then you can read more here in “Lead as a Gardener, no longer a mechanic”.
In case you were wondering: The story I told at the beginning of this essay is a combination of several real situations, where enemies of learning were at play.
Yours, Henrik